I was very fearful of serving a mission. I had no idea what to expect, nor did I want to fail. I had decided to serve a mission twice before, but each time had let my fear overcome me, and had given up. But the Lord had a plan for me, and that plan included a mission. I decided again that it was the right thing for me to do. So I began again that process of preparing for a mission. Needless to say, this caused a lot of stress in my life. Running and biking became my number one stress relievers. One day, I was riding my bike around my hometown. I turned a corner and saw a deer crossing the road. Upon seeing me, the deer froze, paralyzed by fear.
I thought to myself, "Stupid deer. I would hate to live my life so afraid to even move." The reality of my situation hit me suddenly, and I stopped my bike so fast that I almost flew over the handlebars. I was just like that stupid deer. I was letting fear of the future, fear of the unknown, and fear of a daunting task stop me from progressing. True, serving a mission was the most frightening thing I could possibly comprehend. But the Lord had told me that a mission was the next step in my life.
I thought to myself, "Stupid deer. I would hate to live my life so afraid to even move." The reality of my situation hit me suddenly, and I stopped my bike so fast that I almost flew over the handlebars. I was just like that stupid deer. I was letting fear of the future, fear of the unknown, and fear of a daunting task stop me from progressing. True, serving a mission was the most frightening thing I could possibly comprehend. But the Lord had told me that a mission was the next step in my life.
After that experience with that deer, I realized that the only thing that would help me to overcome my fear was to replace it with faith. Indeed, faith is a principle of action, and it was time for me to act. It was time to serve a mission. So, placing my faith in trust in the Lord, and overcoming those insurmountable hurdles I entered the MTC and began what was to be the most transforming experience of my life.
I have since then had to replace fear with faith as I go about doing the Lord's work. Each time I do, however, I am filled with a renewed trust, and gratitude in the Lord. He does have a plan for us, and he will never leave us comfortless. I have a testimony of the power of faith. It can heal our hearts, subside our fears, and bind our heart to God. We must remember to fill our lives with faith, rather than with fear. "How is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him." (1 Nephi 7:12)
great post sister buchanan! "perfect love casteth out all fear" having love for our Savior can help us over come anything!!
ReplyDeleteSo this online proselyting thing is pretty sweet! I was wondering why you were suddenly blogging and posting on Facebook again! Interesting thought though: Remember when you first got called to Montana and we were like "What the heck?" But it all makes sense now! From the sound of it, certain missions throughout the world have been chosen to do this type of proselyting, and I don't think it's any coincidence at all that you, an avid blogger, are in one of those missions! God is clever, He knows how to take people's strengths and use it to spread the word! I'm loving reading your writing again! Keep it up sister!
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Elder Holland gave a great talk in General Conference in April 2006 about fear. Look it up!! It is awesome! I am really glad that you saw the deer that day and that the Lord spoke to your heart at that time!
ReplyDeleteThere are sure a lot of people who are happy you chose to not be like the deer. You are a great missionary. :) Awesome post.
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